If I may be allowed to get serious for a moment…
This one will not be pretty or fun. It may not even be safe for work. But I believe it needs to be said.
Yesterday, I read a brutally honest, incredibly painful confession of a tech writer at the Verge. It seems that Paul Miller has decided to try an experiment wherein he lives without internet for one year. As a consequence (I’m not sure if it was intended or not), he found that it was a way to help him deal with his porn addiction. Now you might want to stop at this point because yes, I went there. This one is about porn. Mr. Miller also “outed” himself as a Christian.
Reading through the comments, Mr. Miller received a great deal of mocking. This thing is, I couldn't tell if it was because he was admitting to a porn addiction and wanted to do something about it, or because he admitted to being a Christian and understanding that there was something wrong with pornography.
In the article, he shared a his doctor’s medical opinion on the health benefits of masturbation, as well as his pastor’s opposing cautionary comment to “get a second opinion.” Mr. Miller was castigated in the comments section for even approaching a clergyman on the subject of biology. However, I think these commenters missed the overall point. Mr. Miller was not only concerned about the physical ramifications of his predilection, but also the moral implications; who better to consult regarding the moral issues than his pastor?
I was disappointed that so many commenters decided to make predictions that he would fail in his efforts to live as porn-free as possible once this experiment was over. Way to go tech geeks: you have just outed yourselves as insensitive louts who love to see a man brought low. Why can’t more people be encouraging and uplifting? I’m guessing (and this is only a guess here) that they may well be ashamed that he is attempting something noble and they are stuck in the muck and mire of this world and if they cannot or will not rise above it, they don’t want to see anyone else do so either.
Also, a large number of commenters expressed the belief that porn is natural and healthy and that it is helpful in the enjoyment of sex, and that Christians need to stop being a bunch of prudes and get with it. They (and a fair number of Christians as well, to be fair), need to remember that sex was God’s idea, and that the physical union between man and woman is s symbol of the mystical union between Christ and His Church. I know, there was probably a moment of “Ewwww!” there, but I wonder if it is because we have allowed porn to skew our view of sex that this is a disturbing image for us?
But what I’m concerned about here is the exploitation of a very beautiful act of love and surrender and total, vulnerable intimacy being touted as something to be desired. Mr. Miller rightly hit it on the head that pornography is about objectification. Objectification is essentially (at least here) treating a person as an object, or as a tool to accomplish what at the end is a selfish goal. In this case, it is about a man using a woman in order for him to receive sexual pleasure, without regard for her thoughts or wishes in the matter: its all about the man and what he wants.
What many of the commenters on Mr. Miller’s article apparently don’t care to discuss, and what many defenders of porn conveniently ignore, is that porn drives much of what is classified as “human trafficking” today. A very good definition of human trafficking can actually be found on Wikipedia: it is “Human trafficking is the illegal trade of human beings mainly for the purposes of commercial sexual exploitation or forced labor.” Porn is an eighty-two BILLION dollar a year industry. That kind of money drives people to do all kinds of shady things including luring young teens and desperate young women into surrendering their bodies for the gratification of an uncaring man’s lust. This article, from the Richmond Justice Initiative covers this subject much better than I could in this post.
Finally, you will note that I have referred to the author of the post on the Verge site by the more formal “Mr. Miller.” I have done so, for two important reasons: first, because I do not know him, and to refer to him by his first name seems presumptuous and second, it is out of deep respect for the way he put himself and his struggles out there for the world to see, and sadly, to be mocked by those who should understand and support him so much better than they did.
"Objectification is essentially (at least here) treating a person as an object, or as a tool to accomplish what at the end is a selfish goal. In this case, it is about a man using a woman in order for him to receive sexual pleasure, without regard for her thoughts or wishes in the matter: its all about the man and what he wants."
ReplyDeleteI quibble with this passage. As, There is porn for women, there is porn produced by women, and the industry is reforming itself.
Further, while the sex trade DOES drive human trafficking, I wonder what the statistics are domestically versus internationally. I'm not trying to white wash a very serious and real problem, I just think perhaps your own bias might encourage you to doomseer with a broader brush than might be called for.
There is a certain amount of implied condemnation here that I think begs the question where do we draw the lines? How far down the rabbit hole do we go? Are the producers at fault? The audience?
I know drawing parallels between prohibition and pornography puts me on shaky ground, but isn't it possible that this sort of public ridicule (both what you describe in the contents, and what you are doing here by proxy) is driving the sort of behavior that tends to put this industry on the outside or underground? Thus giving the criminal element more profit to be had?
Just because something is legal, doesn't make it moral. or vice versa. Nor, does something being illegal necessarily make it immoral.
For example, there are many rules that prevent me from sharing the food that is wasted in any given food business I have been in. Some of these are internal, some are governmental. But, it could be argued that I am immoral for following these rules.
Food for thought.
Yes, it was a broad stroke. It was mostly in the context of Mr. Miller's article that drove that. I am aware that an increasing number of women are consumers of porn, but my focus, for the purposes of this post, was Mr. Miller's situation. I am concerned that porn does skew our vision for sex, and that Christians have done a very poor job of promoting a view of sex that is not only healthy physically, but also socially, emotionally and spiritually.
ReplyDeleteAnd you bring up a good point: if porn is outlawed then we may well find ourselves in a situation similar to Prohibition, wherein porn production and distribution goes underground and what (presumably, from my point of view, little) safeguards are now in place go completely out the window.
As far as whose fault it is, or where to lay the blame, I honestly don't know. I understand only a little of the science of endorphins, but I have read that the pleasure in the sex act imprints on the brain and engages a drive to experience it again and again. The porn producers feed that by presenting images that glorify the act without consequences, so yeah its a mixed bag - where does one begin? For myself, I would say that it must begin with the individual. While I can speak out in general, I am only responsible for myself. But I can encourage others to at least talk about it more than we do.
The thing is, it can be difficult to tell where pornography comes from and under what conditions it was produced. Having dealt with my share of street people, abused people, drug addicts, prostitutes, strippers, and yes, some small slice of human trafficking, I tend to think that there's always someone with a gun or a needle waiting just off-camera. The mere possibility that a woman is being pressured or coerced into doing something against her will is a massive turn-off. Even if the majority of porn is "legit", even knowing that there's a small chance of exploitation makes me physically ill.
ReplyDeleteLoved reading this thank yyou
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder if anything I write is ever meaningful to people. Thank you for letting me know you found something in it that spoke to you.
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